Spiritual Abuse is prevalent in most faith settings including Christian Institutions and Churches around the world today. Many cases of spiritual abuse are not reported or addressed outside of the church walls. As this form of abuse is ‘coming out’ more often, especially in the world of counselling, as a Professional Christian Counsellor I feel that it is vital that Spiritual Abuse is defined from a psychological perspective, exposed explicitly for what it is, and at the same time disclose the impact that it can have on the life of the target individual, church members and the wider community affected. With knowledge of what Spiritual Abuse is, how it feels and what it looks like, people can identify when this is happening to them or to someone else, and they can make a choice to take appropriate action. Spiritual Abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse . It is characterized by a systematic pattern or coercive and controlling behaviour by one individual over another in a religious context, in a place or worship, faith-based organisation or at home. The target of the abuse experiences this as a deeply emotional personal attack. It can have a severely damaging impact on those who experience it and can be experienced in a variety of different relationships and may include some of the following behaviours: • Emotional manipulation and exploitation in the guise of righteousness • Being manipulated or feeing pressured into service or conformity • Feeing unable to say no to increasing demands for time, service and obedience • Forcing or requiring a person to share every aspect of their life for scrutiny under the guise of accountability. • censorship, including inability to ask questions, raise concerns or disagree • Requirement for secrecy and silence • Misuse of scripture or the pulpit control to manipulate behaviour of the congregation or to justify abusive behaviour. • Requirement of obedience to the abuser and implying that it is equivalent to obedience to God thereby invoking fear of spiritual consequences for disobedience • The suggestion that the abuser has a ‘divine’ position • Isolation or rejection to those who will not conform • Superiority and elitism – inferring that they have more value or say. Spiritual Abuse can be experienced in these various ways: THE ABUSER THE ABUSED Leadership towards Church Member Church Member towards Leadership Leadership towards Leadership Church Member towards Church Member How to recognise the warning signs: • Power Positioning – asserting dominance – elevating their own value due to status. • Conflation of human approval, acceptance or blessing with that of God – putting themselves on the same level and as the same authority as God. • Instilling a sense of obligation to God, the Church and Individuals • Unquestioned Authority - They are right and you are wrong. • When only ‘certain people’ hear from God and so they do the thinking for others • An atmosphere of secrecy • An Elitist Attitude – An offensive air of superiority • Favouritism – “the in-crowd” / Clones Why does Spiritual Abuse go unnoticed and be allowed to continue: • It often happens gradually and incrementally – not obviously noticeable, but a pattern with emerge. • The abused will experience a feeling of disloyalty by ‘betraying the abuser’ – telling tales, and therefore keep silent. They sacrifice their own feelings to 'not rock the boat'. • The abused will feel inhibited by shame or feelings of guilt – ‘Am I complicit’ – questioning the part they may have played – feel somehow responsible. • Fear of being labelled as a troublemaker or fear of retribution from the congregation or community – sacrifice their own feeling to people please. • The victim is not being believed – branded as a liar or fantasist • Those confided in or sought help from have rallied to protect the ‘accused’ or the institution – people taking the side of the accuser. Fear of loss of connections and being ostracised / judged. • Despite the abuse, people need the relationship & to belong – fear of loss or disconnection. • Fear that speaking out will be going against the work of God. Why is Spiritual Abuse so Impactful? • It is conducted within a faith-based community which is like a family to the abused • The faith-based community is supposed to be a source of stability, support especially for vulnerable people or at vulnerable times – the abused sometimes has no other support network to turn to. • It is a form of betrayal trauma to the abused – both by the abuser and the institution • It creates a fear of needing to withdraw oneself or having relationships withdrawn from them – sometimes isolating the abused. • The community in which abuse is being experienced is also part of the victims spiritual identity • It can cause dismantling of the role of faith as a source of comfort / healing / growth for the abused – it can impact their relationship with God. The Relational & Psychological Impacts of Spiritual Abuse RELATIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL Difficulty Trusting of Others and Self Shock / Fear Loss of Family & Community Grief Loss of Relationships & Connections Self-doubt / Damaged Self Esteem Loss of Social Life Shame Loss of Support System Anger Fixation on the abuser Stress / Anxiety Fixation on the abusive relationship Depression Isolation Self-harm / Addiction Repression, Disassociation re the Abuse PTSD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) The Physical, Spiritual & Existential Impacts of Spiritual Abuse PHYSICAL SPIRITUAL / EXISTENTIAL Irregular Eating Patterns emerge Loss of meaning and purpose of life Poor Sleeping Habits Loss of Christian Fellowship Restlessness Doubting own faith and inner convictions Panic Attacks Loss of Personal connection with God Physical Illness Loss of Relationship with God Loss of / tainting of spiritual practices Impact on Life Plans / Journey Loss of faith Finances if in full time ministry Needing to move home / relocate Career and Calling Suspended or Terminated Impact on the Wider Community. Division and conflict – people taking sides Others may come forward – exposition of the magnitude of the abuse - causing scandals - bringing Christianity into disrepute. Betrayal and Disillusionment within the congregation / community - Trust is broken Confusion and an implosion of everything you thought you knew Question your own spiritual experience Collapse of the community – splitting of churches Irreconcilable damage to structure of the current community. I have during my long experience as a christian been the victim of spiritual abuse at different levels, from leadership and fellow members of a congregation, and have dealt with it in various ways on my own, with limited knowledge of the psychological impact. This particular issue, I can now say from a professional stance, is something that can be addressed in a confidential professional therapeutic relationship with a counsellor, and not only by religious leaders - as they may sometimes insist on. Separating the spiritual aspect from the psychological impact with a trained professional counsellor who has an understanding of Christian faith, can bring a whole new perspective, and create room for a path to healing. If this article has triggered you in any way and you feel that you have been the victim of Spiritual Abuse and need help - please contact me via my website or email me at info@lifepathresources.co.uk and I may be able to assist you. Prov 4:6-7 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. As a professional disclosure - much of the above material has been acquired from a training webinar held by the ACC (Association of Christians in Counselling & Linked Professions) Prov: 4:6 Do not forsake Wisdom, and she will protect you, lover her and she will watch over you.

I have over the past year as a counselor had a recurring theme among several of the clients that I am working with. Levels of anxiety in both men and woman are high and I am wondering as to whether or not it’s as a result of the pandemic lock-down. I personally don’t think that its a direct result of the actual Covid 19 virus, but due to the lack of control people had over their lives as governments and institutions placed personal restrictions on them during the 2 years of ‘lock-down madness’. A distinct sense of powerlessness was experienced across the board, rich, poor, men, women, adults and children. Poor mental health hit an all-time high in the UK with statistics in 2021 showing that one in five adults experienced symptoms of depression. It almost feels as if due to the lack of control during that time triggered a reciprocal response of now wanting to control everything. It is not being recognized explicitly, but there is a distinct undercurrent of a ‘need’ to take control of everything. It's almost as if something was triggered by the suppression of humans free will choice which we are now witnessing on a large scale which seems to have tipped the scales in the opposite direction. I may be wrong but hear me out. Expectations to have things go their own way is high on the list. There appears to be an underlying sense of ‘panic’ for those who previously may have been rational and able to navigate through difficult circumstance, to now retreat into depression when they have no control over life situations, the past, the future or how relationships are turning out. The dips seem to be lower and the highs higher. The traumas of life remain the same, but its seems as if the capacity of some individuals, to deal with them have become increasingly more difficult. The lack of control over things that are clearly beyond their ability control is having a profound effect on more and more people. Obvious things which are realistically beyond their control, like the opinions of others, the actions of others and what others think of them, are no longer obvious as being out of their control, and cause undue pain, stress, anxiety, feelings of rejection and abandonment, which in turn leads to depression and poor mental health. Suicidal thoughts, and not being able to cope with life is now a common theme, and suicide rates have escalated. On the flip side of the coin, I have also seen how some controlling and manipulating people, who enjoyed the restrictions, in an attempt to control the freedom of others, have reacted to the point of wanting to reinforce and continue restraints on others, even after official restrictions were lifted. Working with clients to point out the obvious has been eye-opening to see how global personal restrictions, once lifted has affected how many people are behaving and thinking now. Have we completely lost the ability to discern what is not within our ability to control – to establish what those things are and figure out a way to let them go to regain our inner peace – if so let me remind you that there is a way. It’s fear that drives us to control – fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of judgement, fear of……….fill in the blank. For Christians, Jesus gives us the answer in 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Perfect or Agape love can only come from Abba Father – when we let go of control of things beyond our control, and allow His love to flood our hearts and minds, we relinquish control of what is not within our ability to control and regain our inner peace and mental stability. The only control that we are required to practice is Self-Control which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We control our boundaries, our thoughts and actions, our goals, what we give our time and energy to, and how we handle difficult and challenging situations. Galatians 5:23 Gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law What is it that you are trying to control that is beyond your control? What do you have control over, that you have not exercised control over? Is it time to discern and shift?

Has the world gone mad or what? It sometimes feels as though we are surrounded by eggshells and don’t know where to tread lest we say or do something that is going to ‘offend’ someone. There now appears to be a thousand more ways to offend simply through ignorance, living or speaking your truth, not being compliant to the demands of others or being deemed not to practice inclusivity. Even not taking sides can become an offence! The dictionary gives two definitions of an offence. The first is a breach of a law or rule, an illegal act and the second is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult or disregard for oneself. I will be referring to the second definition of an offence in this blog. Perhaps the ‘trap’ or ‘bait’ of offence comes to Christians so readily is because we are oblivious of the words of Jesus in Luke 17:1 where he says, “It is impossible that no offenses should come”. To me the word impossible implies that offenses will come – there is no escape from offenses. There is no consideration of ‘if’ offence will come, it’s about when offense comes! So then when offense does come, the matter arises of how we ought to respond. How we respond to offense can often reveal our level of spiritual maturity and how much of ‘self’ is still alive in us. Pride has its roots in ‘self’ and scripture commands us to ‘die to self’ If we are truly dead to ‘self’ – our dead ‘self’ can no longer receive offense or be offended. I witnessed first hand this week how an offence has the capacity to change a person’s behaviour and mindset in a moment in time. Offence if allowed to be ‘unbridled’ can be devastating to an individual, a people group or a community. It has the capacity to destroy intimacy with God, relationships with family, friends and community, which is ultimately what our arch enemy wants. Offense triggers self-conscious emotions like humiliation, pride, guilt, shame, and resentment which can in turn trigger many negative emotions like anger, hatred, and bitterness. These negative emotions ‘land’ or ‘take hold’ in our souls which is our mind, will and emotions. These negative emotions can then poison and lead to a distortion of our thoughts and perceptions around the source of the offense, and be a catalyst for bad choices or self-damaging actions . What can be surprising about the attitude of an offended person, is that that they can also be offended that you are also not offended by the offence they have taken. One of the paths which can lead the way to taking offence is a feeling of POWERLESSNESS. The sense of powerlessness is the expectancy or perception that one's own behaviour cannot control the occurrence of personal and social outcomes, that control is vested in external forces over which we have no power or say. It may also be described as an overwhelming feeling of helplessness or inadequacy. We might feel we have no influence over others, who seem to disregard or disrespect our humanity, freedom, and independence. Feelings of powerlessness and lack of control can be swiftly negated or overpowered by the fierce negative emotions activated by taking offense. It can feel akin to taking back some control to override the sense of powerlessness, but that in itself can be a loss of control. Galations 5 speaks of self control as being a 'fruit' of the Holy Spirit that resides in us. An awareness of the trap or bait that offense can be, will empower an individual to not allow ‘self’ to rise to the bait and thereby choose not go down the destructive path that offense can lead to. Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

I don’t think that there is a Christian alive or dead that has not at one time or other in their journey with God, tried everything to get God’s attention on the issues or trials they are going through. No matter how big or small the problem is, they know in their hearts that God has the answer and ‘if they could only just get His attention’ He can solve it, heal it, make it right. Problem is sometimes it feels like God’s attention seems to be diverted away from you onto someone else’s problem. Someone else’s dilemma seems to be more important than yours. Have you ever been jealous or envious that someone else’s prayers and requests gets answered and yours don’t !!! I would never verbalize that, but have definitely thought about it, forgetting that God knows my thoughts….. This can be a precarious place to be in, and I know those who in their times of trial have lost their trust and walked away from God because they feel that He did not come through in time or at all for them. It seemed as though He had a problem hearing their request or gave them the answer to someone else’s problem. I have in the past been in such a position. It was a painful, debilitating, lonely and an unbearable place to be in. God felt far away, and my pain felt like more that He was able to handle or look upon. It was one of those places where I knew that I had done nothing wrong or anything to deserve to be in the position I was in, and worst of all, I knew that for some reason God had allowed it. I know that my life is in His hands and nothing happens to me that has not been filtered through Him. That was the bitter pill to swallow. Being in full time ministry at the time and having a solid foundation in scripture and an intimate relationship with the Lord – everything felt like a huge very unfair test, which I was failing at miserably. Yes, there was an element of the demonic involved – coming against me from the outside, but it was the emotional pain I was suffering within which became my worst enemy. I needed to get God’s attention to get through this ‘catastrophe’, and at the time thought I knew how. I never had enough toys to ‘throw out of my cot’ or words to plead, bargain or whine at Him. Doing religious things to feel worthy of His attention also proved to be fruitless. Children don’t have to be taught that expressing ‘self pity’ or lamenting over something painful can immediately get the attention of a parent. Some even know how to play that card over and over to manipulate attention at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, human beings fall for that type of behavior trap, but God does not. Self-pity for excessive self-absorbed unhappiness over my own pain and troubles did not appear have God come running to my side to ‘fix it’. Have you tried this – and seen it work? Now don’t get me wrong, He says He will never leave or forsake you, in times of trouble and calamity, and if you seek His face and His comfort you can find it. He will hold you in the palm of His hand, but he may not ‘take away the pain’. He will be with you in the fire and through the water, but the fire may still be there to burn you and the water may still threaten to drown you. So, what is it that gets God’s attention – It’s Faith and trust in His ability to see you through the situation and not out of the situation. He is the God of the Breakthrough not the God of the Breakout. Prisoners breakout to escape their imprisonment and probably get caught and go back to prison. Christians walk with God through ‘their hell’ to obtain their victory over the circumstances. Faith gets God’s attention and His help to Breakthrough every circumstance we find ourselves in. Faith attracts the heavenly armies of God to intervene on our behalf – (Psalm 91:11) Angels are searching to and fro throughout the earth, at God’s command ‘sniffing out’ the Faith of the saints so that they can sweep in and respond to ‘Not my will but Yours be done’ – ‘Be it unto me according to Thy will Lord’. This is what gets God’s attention – Faith activated, unwavering trust in his ability to intervene on our behalf so that His will can be done, not because we are in pain and deserve to be soothed, but because of who He is to us, and to direct us to His will for our lives. Abba responds to faith, not whining, complaining and pleading. He responds to our surrender to His will and to declarations of our Faith in his character as The God who is Mighty to Save, who never Slumbers or Sleeps, who is Merciful and Just, and He backs up the promises in His word with action on our behalf. Faith is never static, it does not stay the same, it can either shrink or grow. Self-pity has the ability to shrink faith until it disappears and with it our hope disappears as well. A tiny seed of faith and trust in Abba can: • Get you out of bed in the morning. • Stop the tears from flowing for a few hours until you can go for days without crying. • Let you see beauty around you. • Be aware of God’s presence. • Find something small to be grateful for. • Give a word of encouragement to someone else. • Elevate your mood, put a smile on your face. • Be aware of God’s goodness towards you. • Take your eyes off your own problems for a little while – then more and more each day. These are just a few things that can happen when you relinquish self-absorbed unhappiness and step out in growing faith to trust the God who Sees You, Hears You, Knows You and Loves You Unconditionally. In Hebrews Chapter 11 – you will find the Great Hall of Faith, People who trusted God despite very challenging circumstances – people who got God’s attention and were worthy to be mentioned in Scripture.

The general saying goes that every picture tells a story, but as I have been watching my husband avidly pursing his talent for painting for the last few years, I began to wonder if someone’s story painted a picture as well. We have all done collages of some form at some stage in our lives, and if you have not, it can be fun, it can also be cathartic, but it can be a disaster as well. I remember the first collage I did many years ago and remember rummaging through the already ransacked magazines made available, to find the pictures or phrases that described what I was trying to convey about who I was and parts of my life. It was quite a dismal attempt to say the least. I could not find the perfect fit for my situation. Then again a few years ago, I was required for an exercise at college, to do a ‘river or life’ drawing or collage of the highlights and low-lights of my life. Again, it was dismal. I chose to paint it this time, and not having that kind of artistic ability it turned out a total mess. I know people who can paint a picture with words in such a vivid wonderful way that it can be imagined as breath taking, but nothing compares to a visual, real scene depicting aspects and nuances that are difficult to describe in words, that keep drawing our eyes back again and again to drink in the beauty or the raw power and majesty of a creation captured in a moment of time. Although I don’t have experience as a counselor with little children I find it thoroughly fascinating what can be deduced from their simple but truthful drawings about what is going on in their lives. In contrast what I find equally fascinating are the pictures that people portray of their lives on social media, many of which are not really a true reflection of what is going on in their lives. People chose to display and hide behind the good times pictures, the fun times pictures, the happy times pictures and never disclose the real chaos that could be going on. What’s on with that?? Not only is it misleading to others who could be going through a tough time spiritually, physically, emotionally or financially, but can create an envy for the ‘facade’. Most people have an intrinsic instinct to compare their lives with those of their friend or family, and when it doesn’t match up, feelings of discontent and failure start to creep in. I have time and time again in the counselling room heard – ‘everyone else is……(fill in the blank) and its not happening for me’ – I am doomed, I am cursed – I am a failure. I wonder if we were more truthful about who we are, what the picture of our stories would look like. How would we paint the insecure attachment we developed in childhood, or the negative patterns of behavior we adopted from being neglected or abused. How would we paint the pain of rejection, abandonment or disassociation. These are the issues we deal with daily as counselors with the people who post ‘fake’ lives on social media. Now I know that not everyone has gone through the issues above and possibly do have a ‘rosy’ picture to paint – but these are few and far between these days. Seeing a real picture of your story could not only be inspirational to others but healing to you yourself. A picture paints a thousand words so lets be real about the stories we paint.

Testimonies are one of the most powerful tools that we have to give hope and encouragement to those who are going through struggles and a tough time in life. It's for this very reason that I am publishing a powerful testimony from a client I have counselled in the recently There is healing for the broken and abundant life after sorrow and pain. Read this testimony and rejoice over the changes that took place in her life. Today is my last day of Therapy I started it in June 2021, not knowing what to expect and although it hasn’t been a year, in that time I faced my past trauma, I sorted out my issues, I created boundaries, I have learnt to have respect for myself and my body. But most importantly, I learnt that closure is not external... search for it all you want, you’ll never find it because it must come from you. You’ve got to learn to forgive yourself for your past and own it. Don’t wear it as shame or guilt or hatred for yourself, but to remind you of who you have been, so that you can become the best version of yourself for the future. I was on a path of self-destruction because I felt betrayed, hurt, and broken but on this journey, I learnt that I’ve also betrayed, hurt, and broken other people. I cannot take away the pain that I have caused but I can make sure that I make better choices. I am proud of who I am today because I am finally free from the chains that had me bound since I was 17. I started therapy feeling scared, skeptical, lost and a little bit overwhelmed because I was afraid to be vulnerable. You made me feel relaxed and welcomed from the get-go and that allowed me to be so open and honest, I didn’t feel afraid anymore. A year ago, I didn’t know whos… I felt that everyone had their own opinions and perceptions about me, and that created a discombobulated identity for me. You told me that I did all the work to get to where I am now, but I could have never progressed to this point without you there to guide me and challenge my thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful and thankful to you, because although you may feel as if I had the power and strength within me this entire time to get to this point, it took you to ignite that fire and drive for me to realize the person that I wanted to be. I wish you well and I hope that one day when I become a play therapist, I’ll be able to change somebody’s life, just like how you changed mine. I will never forget you. Thank you for giving me back my wings, I’m ready to fly." For me this testimony is worth more that gold. It's concrete proof of how counselling, empathy and commitment to change can lead to wonderful healing and restoration. If you have an issue that you may want to explore through counselling please contact me.

Yes, yes and yes again, I am guilt and so are you….. Its hard to admit to yourself and even harder to speak it out, but yes, we are all guilty of discrimination in some form or other at sometime or other in our lives. We may not recognize it as discrimination, we may be able to justify it to ourselves, or try and explain it away as something else, but discrimination has at some point been a part of our thought life and actions. Let me start by giving a definition for the word discrimination: Discrimination which can also be known as, intolerance, bias, prejudice or bigotry, is the act of making unjustified distinctions between people based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are perceived to belong. People may be discriminated on the basis of race, gender, age, religion, sexual orientation, disability, ethnicity, and most recently their vaccination status - as well as many other categories. It was not part of God’s perfect plan for human beings to ‘suffer’ from the sin of discrimination, this is very clear from Genesis Chapter 1:31 where on the sixth day after God had created mankind, both male and female in His own image – He pronounced that everything was GOOD. Not substandard or defective in some hidden way. So where did discrimination come into the picture? It took only a further 2 chapters of Genesis to reveal this heinous trait which was put into the mind of Eve by the arch enemy of our Creator. In Genesis 3:5 the snake says - “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” An immediate suggested unjustified distinction between herself and God – that somehow she was ‘lesser’ or not ‘like’ God and therefore Eve bought into the idea that they, her and Adam, had to take some action to improve their status. The action was that of the ‘devaluation’ of God’s word by rebelling against the authority of God, which ultimately led to their downfall and the fall of mankind and spiritual separation from God. Mankind unfortunately has not learned its lesson from this fatal act, and has throughout history believed that the only way to status up, is to put someone else or their ideas or ideology down. Thinking of yourself more highly than others is not only a form of pride but discrimination. Whether it is only internalized or expressed verbally making an unjustified distinction between yourself, your group, your tribe or your nation against another person, their group, their tribe or their nation is discrimination. We have not all be fortunate enough to have been born and raised in countries where not only education, health services or opportunities for advancement in technology is relatively freely available, and it can be easy not to identify with or discriminate against those who have not had these benefits or do not share our values or beliefs in life – and deem these people or groups to be lesser than ourselves. Being a Christian or a religious person does not automatically exempt you from discrimination as I have found out… We need to carefully consider the direction of our thought patterns and be hasty to repent and bring them into righteous alignment. I was recently the ‘object’ of a vicious attack of discrimination over my free will choice not to participate in the current global vaccination trial program. It was not only hurtful, but a total unwarranted violation of my God given free will choice. Liberty to choose what is best for your own health is now becoming a vehicle for discrimination. What however angers me more is the fact that what is welcomed and condoned by society is a woman’s free will choice over her body to murder her unborn child……no discrimination attached????? “Do not conform to the pattern of this ‘world’, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) We need to accept that God has given to each human being free will choice, which even He will not violate. Discrimination is a very subtle, vile and devious way of trying to get people, people groups and nations to conform to your way of thinking, by elevating your ideas and values and devaluing theirs, and in the process devaluing them as people. There is no place in our world for discrimination of any kind if there is to be peace among all people and nations. How we achieve this is by first searching our own hearts to reveal where we have elevated our own thoughts and ideas and devalued others – sincerely repent of these thoughts or words spoken and begin valuing people irrespective of their opposite ideology or way of life. Now, having said all of the above, there is in my opinion one exception which bears mentioning and that is this : Where there is in YOUR particular group, an I make particular reference to your faith group, a radical deviation from the truth held by community of believers, or a total contradiction or violation of the Word of Truth, there is room for not valuing the ideology which may split the group, and there is a place for intolerance of the violation of the common beliefs of the group. This is entirely a different matter to be dealt with within the group itself and not to be interfered with by those outside of the group. It’s when different groups pit themselves against the ideology or beliefs of other groups that discrimination sets in, and people are devalued. “Have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:4) Let us not be judges with evil thoughts.

Let me set the scene… a woman is in labour and finally gives birth, amidst all the pain she has endured thus far, the only thing she is listening for, straining her ears to hear above the noise of the medical staff around her, is the very first cry of her baby. Upon hearing that very first cry, she can now lay back exhausted and relax, resting assured that the baby is alive and breathing. How exciting, how reassuring to hear the unique voice of her child. This child has been hearing it’s mother’s and father’s voice in the womb for the last nine months and now finally, the parents are hearing the voice of their child. How very profound…. Have you ever pondered why humans have voices? Have you ever wondered why each person’s voice is so unique, so distinctive? Have you ever pondered why voices can evoke memories? Memories that can terrify, or memories that flood our hearts with happiness or joy. Our brain stores the memory of the sound of the voices of the people we know and have encountered in our lives. I can remember the sound of the voice of my mother and father who are no longer with us – the memory of the sound of our voice can never be extinguished, never be erased – it may remain dormant, but it does not die. We can identify a person by the sound of their voice, even if they are not physically in our presence. So powerful is your voice when it is heard. Your voice was created to give sound to words… Thoughts that are never vocalized remain as thoughts, but thoughts that are spoken are powerful to create and form the things that the thoughts contain. A clue to this truth comes in the very first lines of Genesis. This is the first time we are told in the Bible that God speaks. He uses his voice – ‘And God said’… ‘And God said’. God continues to speak throughout Genesis and into the New Testament where His word becomes flesh and dwells among us. We take for granted that we have a voice until perhaps one day we lose it. There are those who so value their voices that they have even insured their vocal chords as instruments of their profession – they make a substantial living out of the what their voices produce e.g. singers like Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Rod Stewart. I however, am concerned that in today’s day and age our voices are not longer heard as often as they should be. I am concerned that we are not using our voices to create and form the things that are of utmost importance to us. Our voices have been reduced to words on a page…. Through instruments like social media, Facebook, Twitter, and other such platforms – no one hears us speak audibly. They see our thoughts on a screen but don’t hear the emotion with which the words are conveyed. They see our words but don’t hear the nuances and tones of our voices. They don’t experience the sounds that are emanating from our hearts. Why have we been silenced? Is this intentional or is this the price of progress – I don’t have the answer – all I know is the fruit of it all is, ‘our voices are no longer being heard’! People no longer speak – they message, they text, they whatsapp thinking this is communication. They think they can resolve conflicts, convey messages of hope, comfort or instruction without audible verbal communication – they are disillusioned – once that text is read, and the app is closed – what they have written is often forgotten, often discarded or deleted. It is however hard to forget the anguish of pain in a voice, or the shriek of excitement from a child, or a genuine word of compassion or empathy from a friend. Your voice is important to be heard. Your thoughts are worthy to be spoken out. I am a counsellor in talking therapies and confirm over and over the value and importance of someone actually talking about their pain, their past, their failures, their ambitions, their desires and beliefs. It is not only a privilege to hear their voices but also to be heard when I respond. There is another who longs to hear your voice and longs for you to hear His voice as well Psalm 116:1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Where can you hear a real voice, or make your voice be heard today?

It has not always been easy for me to put into words what my passions are. I know that one is Worship, and another is delving into the Word of God. By that I mean, researching, looking up meanings of words and finding where else they come up in scripture. All this to say: Has the Lord given you a Personal Word for 2021? If not yet, I urge you to seek it out from Him as it will give you direction, strength and guide you though the unknown to come. At the beginning of 2020, the personal word that the Lord gave me was “I will be your sun and your shield” from Psalm 84:11. Little did I know at the time how sustaining that word would be. Even now in hindsight I am amazed at its significance and true meaning, as I apply it to the circumstances and situations that I have had to face in 2020. The sun brings light, warmth, comfort and facilitates growth to everything on the earth. There were some tough decisions and choices the Lord put before me to make very early in January 2020, which sometimes made me feel as if I would be stumbling around in the dark, if I went through with them. Without the personal word which day by day brought light and illumination to my path, as events unfolded, and perspective became much clearer, I realized that I could easily have missed God’s will for me for 2020. Even when I forgot the word, God did not forget His promise to me in 2020. The most challenging time came in August when my elderly mother fell extremely ill and died in South Africa, and I was not able, due to COVID-19 restrictions, travel to be with her in her final hours. Once again, the personal word came into action as God provided comfort, warmth, and light into the very depth of my being, removing every shadow of disappointment, disillusionment, and powerlessness over the situation I found myself in. Do not however be mistaken to think that the process took a day or a week or even a month, but by allowing the pouring of His light, comfort, and warmth to wash over my spirit daily, it eased the pain and pushed back the darkness of grief. During 2020 the Lord has been my shield in some amazing ways. A shield protects and guards a warrior’s vulnerable heart and internal organs. A shield, however, must be held up by the person who wants to be protected. The Lord cautioned me and showed me when to hold up the shield and when to lower it. I came under a vicious spiritual attack fairly early in the year and the Lord immediately said – ‘hold up the shield – I will take the blows’. He protected my heart from becoming battered and bitter and I have walked away stronger, wiser, and grateful for His covering. I have intentionally embarked on a path of spiritual growth and awakening to what the Lord is doing supernaturally in my life and on the earth today. During the pandemic, the word shielding has become a regular part of everyday vocabulary. I have not had to shield or quarantine during any of the lock-downs as the Lord has been my shield. I believe that there have been numerous times I could have been exposed to the virus, but the ‘shield’ has been up, and the Lord has protected me as He said he would – and I continue to trust in His unfailing word. I personally believe that 2021 is going to be just as, if not more challenging than 2020 and I have sought the Lord for a personal word for this year as I know without a doubt that I am going to need it not only to survive but to thrive. I am encouraged by this word and will share some of it with you. The word is from Habakkuk 3:19 – “He will make me to walk upon mine high places”. High places are places of worship, battlefields, authority and government, places of land possession, victory, and dominion. I know that high places need to be conquered and are not easily accessible. In the natural world climbing to high places can be risky, takes training, effort, and sometimes specialized equipment. As the spiritual parallels the natural, the same will be necessary which can be daunting, but I am trusting that the Lord will be there not only to defend but fight on my behalf. I am entering 2021 with optimism not for a vaccine or an end to the virus, but to witness the mighty hand of God as He shakes the nations and brings heaven to earth as only He can. We need more than a vaccine, we need to return to Holiness, Righteousness and Truth which is only found in Jesus – and saints, this starts with us – the church of the only true and living God. I hope that this encourages you to also seek the Lord for a personal word for 2021. May your year be filled with extraordinary promises from the Lord for you to enjoy and grow into.