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Pain....where it can take you
I don’t blog for the sake of blogging, but wait for the Lord to give me something to say. It’s then the time to put pen to paper, or rather in my case put fingertips to keyboard. As the thoughts come pouring in, I get anxious that I will forget what He has said, as these thoughts often come when I am no where near my I-pad. The wonderful thing however, is that as I do sit down to capture the thoughts, they come flooding back - for that I am grateful.
Have you ever experienced a severe itch that just has to be scratched to soothe it - take it away, and take it away now. Sometimes that itch just happens to be in a hard to reach place - and oh my word, what lengths some people go to for relief. Grab anything, a hairbrush, a back scratcher, a ruler, even the corner of a wall or door will do - you know what I’m talking about - I’ve seen it happen and I’ve been there - done that. Sometimes the best option in those cases is to call upon someone else to intervene on your behalf.... Don’t laugh it happens all the time. An itch just has to be scratched - experiment by trying to ignore it - see who wins that game.....
Pain is very much like an itch which simply has to be soothed, to be taken away at all costs - at least that is how most of us think. None of us are really prepared for pain - maybe if we were, we would not suffer its awfulness. I have had what I thought was the ‘misfortune’ of experiencing both physical and emotional pain in my life, as would many of you as well - this blog is about sharing some of the lessons learned during a a time of extreme emotional pain and my journey to soothe it.
Just my opinion - emotional pain is much worse than physical pain. The reason I say this is that physical pain is just that... once the pain has gone - the memory of it seems to dissipate quite quickly as well. Take child birth for instance - if a woman does not have the capacity to forget the pain - she would never go on to have another child. It’s as though God has put into us the gift of being able to forget physical pain. Another example of this fact is the dare devil people out there who take risks, get badly injured, yet go back for more....crazy don’t you think. They seem to forget the physical pain.
Emotional pain on the other hand - is a different category altogether. It needs and wants to be soothed for a long time - sometimes a lifetime. People who have experience tremendous emotional pain sometimes take a very very long time to risk that area again - sometime they never do. I want to say upfront here - doctors, medicine and time will take care of physical pain, but emotional pain needs the Great Physician to be healed completely. There is a saying that time heals every hurt - that’s really a lie - all it does it bury it - sooner or later it comes to the surface to haunt you again.
Being abandoned, rejected, despised, and neglected by those who are closest to you are some of the root causes of emotional pain. One to the biggest causes of the harshest kind of emotional pain in our society and in marriages today is infidelity and betrayal. The pain goes so deep that it can take years to heal and restore the soul - but the good news is that, with the Lord it is possible. Understand however that this is a process - no quick fix or deliverance prayer can heal emotional pain.
Emotional pain can take you to places that you never in a lifetime thought you would go... No matter how strong you think you are, without the Lord, it can be a dangerous slippery path from which there may be no return. Are you frightened yet? - you should be. This is no joke - seriously, if I knew this upfront, I would have tried to be prepared. In this life there is no escape from emotional pain, but the outcome for your life will depend on how you face it, how you handle it and who or what you turn to, to soothe and ease the pain. Unlike an itch which can be dealt with in an instant, emotional pain is persistent, persistent, persistent in its relentless pursuit to be soothed and eased.
Emotional pain takes place in our soul - the place of our mind, will and emotions. It’s a place that cannot be touched by human hands, its a place that cannot be held, cuddled, kissed, comforted by human touch. Human intervention to ease the pain of the soul is very limited, but God in His infinite mercy has provided a way for our souls to be touched - only by Him.
Before I expand on how you can allow God to ‘touch the pain’ in your soul I want to mention some of the ways that human beings ‘try’ to soothe our souls in pain. In saying this I in no way imply that these are all or any of the ways that I sought to do so during my time of extreme emotional pain. During that time however, I sought out and listened to many teaching both biblical and secular on how people handle and address emotional pain and the extremes some go to.
More often than not people turn to ‘things’ that bring comfort to the physical body rather than the soul - they look for comfort in food, alcohol, drugs, sex, illicit relationships, anything that gratifies and brings temporary comfort to their flesh - the problem is that - as with many other temporary comforts, more and more is needed to bring some kind of relief - simply because it is not the soul that is being touched. Others turn to the really dark side - despising and blaming God - seeking to self harm and self destruct. Others turn to distraction of every kind - busy - busy -busy seeking to fill every waking moment to keep the pain at bay, then collapse into a fatigued heap at night.
Another way in which people handle emotional pain is to isolate themselves, separate themselves from all that was familiar. This can be detrimental as it can lead to self pity and depression very quickly. For a short time, I ventured down that treacherous path until the Lord gently brought me back into the much needed fellowship of caring believers. I soon discovered however, that those who had not walked this path before me were not fully understanding of the pain and although were well meaning, their ‘advice’ was often misguided and aimed at temporary gratification and self indulgence. It is wisdom not to confide in a multitude of people and seek counsel in every ear that is ready to hear your story - and believe me there are many.... There are few you can trust with the pain of your precious heart 💔 and they are the ones who will walk alongside you, holding you up until you can walk on your own again. Find them and you find treasure.
Now on to the good part of this story.... The only place that I found comfort for my soul was with the One who created my soul. The bible says that the Lord is close to the broken hearted but believe me it doesn’t always feel that way - The solution to that was definitely to “NOT GO ON FEELINGS... “ take God at His word - then when you look back you will be amazed to find that He was with you every step of the way - even when you did not ‘feel’ His presence.
Prayer can be difficult when pain is overwhelming and the Lord knows that only too well - He sweated blood in Gethsemane when words were few and far between. Now I’m not advocating that you sweat blood, but tears and more tears are a good substitute. Now if I told you that I cried tears every day for more than 365 days, you probably will think I’m exaggerating, but I am not. Tears mingled with humble, mumbled prayer before the Lord are healing - God does not care too much for self pity, but a heart broken and longing for his touch alone, He cannot resist.
I am definitely not advocating this as a formula by no means but I found that something tangible representing the presence of God to be very comforting during those times of prayer. I was given a beautiful prayer shawl from Israel by a very good friend of mine which I used to cover myself with as I knelt in prayer each night before the Lord. I would cry and pray until I felt the presence of God cover me over the prayer shawl - the peace and comfort that came during those times is indescribable. God was healing and restoring my soul moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day as I poured out my heart to Him. He also taught me that being out in the beauty of His creation, in His presence was restoring to my soul. Long walks in nature, just talking to Him was like balm to soothe a damaged soul.
The most important lesson to be learned though all the pain has been to focus on what is eternal and not what is temporal and to forgive, forgive and forgive again. If you can learn to forgive those who have hurt and wronged you when the pain is at its peak, you will sooner find the path to healing and restoration of your soul. I pray the the Lord leads you and comforts you when its your time to walk this path - we all have a chance to make this journey - where will yours take you??
This poem has been written, not by me but by my client Eva Longss, (her assumed name) she is a survivor of long term childhood and domestic abuse. Eva has been having counselling sessions with me since September 2023 and is finding a new freedom in her God given identity and talents - especially the gift of Powerful Words to express thoughts and feelings. Eva has given me permission to share this poem relating to her ongoing journey to healing and wholeness. *Self-Emancipation* Too long living under someone else’s cloud. Nothing but a black, stifling shroud. Supporting, carrying, bearing, enduring… This is not healthy. How could it ever be? Is this God’s ‘Life abundant’ for me? Jesus came and died to give us His Kiss of Life. But people choose to settle for the kiss of death. By way of the enemy’s rancid, camouflaged breath. ‘Do not disturb!’ shouts their sign. ‘You choose your way. I'll choose mine.’ ‘Don’t disturb my slumber And don’t waste my time!’ You cannot live under somebody else’s cloud. It’s nothing but a black, stifling shroud. It will exhaust your energy, numb your senses Leave you empty, drained, without defences. Nothing left to give. Nothing left to live. Dysregulation! Impending implosion? Or just self-erosion? Too long in the Land of Isolation. Lock-down Land, a virtually permanent station. Love is not infatuation, fixation, or domination! Time to make a break for Emancipation! Eva Longss 26/2/24 It was never God's intention for us to come under the domination and control of another human being, even He does not violate our Free Will Choice. If you are being affected or have in the past been affected by Domestic Violence and need healing from its vile affect on your life - contact me on the details on this website for a free consultation. If you identify with these powerful words - send an email to me with a message of encouragement to Eva - info@lifepathresources.co.uk Galations 5:1 (The Message) - Christ has set us free to live a free life, So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
I have over the past year as a counselor had a recurring theme among several of the clients that I am working with. Levels of anxiety in both men and woman are high and I am wondering as to whether or not it’s as a result of the pandemic lock-down. I personally don’t think that its a direct result of the actual Covid 19 virus, but due to the lack of control people had over their lives as governments and institutions placed personal restrictions on them during the 2 years of ‘lock-down madness’. A distinct sense of powerlessness was experienced across the board, rich, poor, men, women, adults and children. Poor mental health hit an all-time high in the UK with statistics in 2021 showing that one in five adults experienced symptoms of depression. It almost feels as if due to the lack of control during that time triggered a reciprocal response of now wanting to control everything. It is not being recognized explicitly, but there is a distinct undercurrent of a ‘need’ to take control of everything. It's almost as if something was triggered by the suppression of humans free will choice which we are now witnessing on a large scale which seems to have tipped the scales in the opposite direction. I may be wrong but hear me out. Expectations to have things go their own way is high on the list. There appears to be an underlying sense of ‘panic’ for those who previously may have been rational and able to navigate through difficult circumstance, to now retreat into depression when they have no control over life situations, the past, the future or how relationships are turning out. The dips seem to be lower and the highs higher. The traumas of life remain the same, but its seems as if the capacity of some individuals, to deal with them have become increasingly more difficult. The lack of control over things that are clearly beyond their ability control is having a profound effect on more and more people. Obvious things which are realistically beyond their control, like the opinions of others, the actions of others and what others think of them, are no longer obvious as being out of their control, and cause undue pain, stress, anxiety, feelings of rejection and abandonment, which in turn leads to depression and poor mental health. Suicidal thoughts, and not being able to cope with life is now a common theme, and suicide rates have escalated. On the flip side of the coin, I have also seen how some controlling and manipulating people, who enjoyed the restrictions, in an attempt to control the freedom of others, have reacted to the point of wanting to reinforce and continue restraints on others, even after official restrictions were lifted. Working with clients to point out the obvious has been eye-opening to see how global personal restrictions, once lifted has affected how many people are behaving and thinking now. Have we completely lost the ability to discern what is not within our ability to control – to establish what those things are and figure out a way to let them go to regain our inner peace – if so let me remind you that there is a way. It’s fear that drives us to control – fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of judgement, fear of……….fill in the blank. For Christians, Jesus gives us the answer in 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Perfect or Agape love can only come from Abba Father – when we let go of control of things beyond our control, and allow His love to flood our hearts and minds, we relinquish control of what is not within our ability to control and regain our inner peace and mental stability. The only control that we are required to practice is Self-Control which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We control our boundaries, our thoughts and actions, our goals, what we give our time and energy to, and how we handle difficult and challenging situations. Galatians 5:23 Gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law What is it that you are trying to control that is beyond your control? What do you have control over, that you have not exercised control over? Is it time to discern and shift?
Has the world gone mad or what? It sometimes feels as though we are surrounded by eggshells and don’t know where to tread lest we say or do something that is going to ‘offend’ someone. There now appears to be a thousand more ways to offend simply through ignorance, living or speaking your truth, not being compliant to the demands of others or being deemed not to practice inclusivity. Even not taking sides can become an offence! The dictionary gives two definitions of an offence. The first is a breach of a law or rule, an illegal act and the second is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult or disregard for oneself. I will be referring to the second definition of an offence in this blog. Perhaps the ‘trap’ or ‘bait’ of offence comes to Christians so readily is because we are oblivious of the words of Jesus in Luke 17:1 where he says, “It is impossible that no offenses should come”. To me the word impossible implies that offenses will come – there is no escape from offenses. There is no consideration of ‘if’ offence will come, it’s about when offense comes! So then when offense does come, the matter arises of how we ought to respond. How we respond to offense can often reveal our level of spiritual maturity and how much of ‘self’ is still alive in us. Pride has its roots in ‘self’ and scripture commands us to ‘die to self’ If we are truly dead to ‘self’ – our dead ‘self’ can no longer receive offense or be offended. I witnessed first hand this week how an offence has the capacity to change a person’s behaviour and mindset in a moment in time. Offence if allowed to be ‘unbridled’ can be devastating to an individual, a people group or a community. It has the capacity to destroy intimacy with God, relationships with family, friends and community, which is ultimately what our arch enemy wants. Offense triggers self-conscious emotions like humiliation, pride, guilt, shame, and resentment which can in turn trigger many negative emotions like anger, hatred, and bitterness. These negative emotions ‘land’ or ‘take hold’ in our souls which is our mind, will and emotions. These negative emotions can then poison and lead to a distortion of our thoughts and perceptions around the source of the offense, and be a catalyst for bad choices or self-damaging actions . What can be surprising about the attitude of an offended person, is that that they can also be offended that you are also not offended by the offence they have taken. One of the paths which can lead the way to taking offence is a feeling of POWERLESSNESS. The sense of powerlessness is the expectancy or perception that one's own behaviour cannot control the occurrence of personal and social outcomes, that control is vested in external forces over which we have no power or say. It may also be described as an overwhelming feeling of helplessness or inadequacy. We might feel we have no influence over others, who seem to disregard or disrespect our humanity, freedom, and independence. Feelings of powerlessness and lack of control can be swiftly negated or overpowered by the fierce negative emotions activated by taking offense. It can feel akin to taking back some control to override the sense of powerlessness, but that in itself can be a loss of control. Galations 5 speaks of self control as being a 'fruit' of the Holy Spirit that resides in us. An awareness of the trap or bait that offense can be, will empower an individual to not allow ‘self’ to rise to the bait and thereby choose not go down the destructive path that offense can lead to. Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
I don’t think that there is a Christian alive or dead that has not at one time or other in their journey with God, tried everything to get God’s attention on the issues or trials they are going through. No matter how big or small the problem is, they know in their hearts that God has the answer and ‘if they could only just get His attention’ He can solve it, heal it, make it right. Problem is sometimes it feels like God’s attention seems to be diverted away from you onto someone else’s problem. Someone else’s dilemma seems to be more important than yours. Have you ever been jealous or envious that someone else’s prayers and requests gets answered and yours don’t !!! I would never verbalize that, but have definitely thought about it, forgetting that God knows my thoughts….. This can be a precarious place to be in, and I know those who in their times of trial have lost their trust and walked away from God because they feel that He did not come through in time or at all for them. It seemed as though He had a problem hearing their request or gave them the answer to someone else’s problem. I have in the past been in such a position. It was a painful, debilitating, lonely and an unbearable place to be in. God felt far away, and my pain felt like more that He was able to handle or look upon. It was one of those places where I knew that I had done nothing wrong or anything to deserve to be in the position I was in, and worst of all, I knew that for some reason God had allowed it. I know that my life is in His hands and nothing happens to me that has not been filtered through Him. That was the bitter pill to swallow. Being in full time ministry at the time and having a solid foundation in scripture and an intimate relationship with the Lord – everything felt like a huge very unfair test, which I was failing at miserably. Yes, there was an element of the demonic involved – coming against me from the outside, but it was the emotional pain I was suffering within which became my worst enemy. I needed to get God’s attention to get through this ‘catastrophe’, and at the time thought I knew how. I never had enough toys to ‘throw out of my cot’ or words to plead, bargain or whine at Him. Doing religious things to feel worthy of His attention also proved to be fruitless. Children don’t have to be taught that expressing ‘self pity’ or lamenting over something painful can immediately get the attention of a parent. Some even know how to play that card over and over to manipulate attention at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, human beings fall for that type of behavior trap, but God does not. Self-pity for excessive self-absorbed unhappiness over my own pain and troubles did not appear have God come running to my side to ‘fix it’. Have you tried this – and seen it work? Now don’t get me wrong, He says He will never leave or forsake you, in times of trouble and calamity, and if you seek His face and His comfort you can find it. He will hold you in the palm of His hand, but he may not ‘take away the pain’. He will be with you in the fire and through the water, but the fire may still be there to burn you and the water may still threaten to drown you. So, what is it that gets God’s attention – It’s Faith and trust in His ability to see you through the situation and not out of the situation. He is the God of the Breakthrough not the God of the Breakout. Prisoners breakout to escape their imprisonment and probably get caught and go back to prison. Christians walk with God through ‘their hell’ to obtain their victory over the circumstances. Faith gets God’s attention and His help to Breakthrough every circumstance we find ourselves in. Faith attracts the heavenly armies of God to intervene on our behalf – (Psalm 91:11) Angels are searching to and fro throughout the earth, at God’s command ‘sniffing out’ the Faith of the saints so that they can sweep in and respond to ‘Not my will but Yours be done’ – ‘Be it unto me according to Thy will Lord’. This is what gets God’s attention – Faith activated, unwavering trust in his ability to intervene on our behalf so that His will can be done, not because we are in pain and deserve to be soothed, but because of who He is to us, and to direct us to His will for our lives. Abba responds to faith, not whining, complaining and pleading. He responds to our surrender to His will and to declarations of our Faith in his character as The God who is Mighty to Save, who never Slumbers or Sleeps, who is Merciful and Just, and He backs up the promises in His word with action on our behalf. Faith is never static, it does not stay the same, it can either shrink or grow. Self-pity has the ability to shrink faith until it disappears and with it our hope disappears as well. A tiny seed of faith and trust in Abba can: • Get you out of bed in the morning. • Stop the tears from flowing for a few hours until you can go for days without crying. • Let you see beauty around you. • Be aware of God’s presence. • Find something small to be grateful for. • Give a word of encouragement to someone else. • Elevate your mood, put a smile on your face. • Be aware of God’s goodness towards you. • Take your eyes off your own problems for a little while – then more and more each day. These are just a few things that can happen when you relinquish self-absorbed unhappiness and step out in growing faith to trust the God who Sees You, Hears You, Knows You and Loves You Unconditionally. In Hebrews Chapter 11 – you will find the Great Hall of Faith, People who trusted God despite very challenging circumstances – people who got God’s attention and were worthy to be mentioned in Scripture.
The general saying goes that every picture tells a story, but as I have been watching my husband avidly pursing his talent for painting for the last few years, I began to wonder if someone’s story painted a picture as well. We have all done collages of some form at some stage in our lives, and if you have not, it can be fun, it can also be cathartic, but it can be a disaster as well. I remember the first collage I did many years ago and remember rummaging through the already ransacked magazines made available, to find the pictures or phrases that described what I was trying to convey about who I was and parts of my life. It was quite a dismal attempt to say the least. I could not find the perfect fit for my situation. Then again a few years ago, I was required for an exercise at college, to do a ‘river or life’ drawing or collage of the highlights and low-lights of my life. Again, it was dismal. I chose to paint it this time, and not having that kind of artistic ability it turned out a total mess. I know people who can paint a picture with words in such a vivid wonderful way that it can be imagined as breath taking, but nothing compares to a visual, real scene depicting aspects and nuances that are difficult to describe in words, that keep drawing our eyes back again and again to drink in the beauty or the raw power and majesty of a creation captured in a moment of time. Although I don’t have experience as a counselor with little children I find it thoroughly fascinating what can be deduced from their simple but truthful drawings about what is going on in their lives. In contrast what I find equally fascinating are the pictures that people portray of their lives on social media, many of which are not really a true reflection of what is going on in their lives. People chose to display and hide behind the good times pictures, the fun times pictures, the happy times pictures and never disclose the real chaos that could be going on. What’s on with that?? Not only is it misleading to others who could be going through a tough time spiritually, physically, emotionally or financially, but can create an envy for the ‘facade’. Most people have an intrinsic instinct to compare their lives with those of their friend or family, and when it doesn’t match up, feelings of discontent and failure start to creep in. I have time and time again in the counselling room heard – ‘everyone else is……(fill in the blank) and its not happening for me’ – I am doomed, I am cursed – I am a failure. I wonder if we were more truthful about who we are, what the picture of our stories would look like. How would we paint the insecure attachment we developed in childhood, or the negative patterns of behavior we adopted from being neglected or abused. How would we paint the pain of rejection, abandonment or disassociation. These are the issues we deal with daily as counselors with the people who post ‘fake’ lives on social media. Now I know that not everyone has gone through the issues above and possibly do have a ‘rosy’ picture to paint – but these are few and far between these days. Seeing a real picture of your story could not only be inspirational to others but healing to you yourself. A picture paints a thousand words so lets be real about the stories we paint.
Testimonies are one of the most powerful tools that we have to give hope and encouragement to those who are going through struggles and a tough time in life. It's for this very reason that I am publishing a powerful testimony from a client I have counselled in the recently There is healing for the broken and abundant life after sorrow and pain. Read this testimony and rejoice over the changes that took place in her life. Today is my last day of Therapy I started it in June 2021, not knowing what to expect and although it hasn’t been a year, in that time I faced my past trauma, I sorted out my issues, I created boundaries, I have learnt to have respect for myself and my body. But most importantly, I learnt that closure is not external... search for it all you want, you’ll never find it because it must come from you. You’ve got to learn to forgive yourself for your past and own it. Don’t wear it as shame or guilt or hatred for yourself, but to remind you of who you have been, so that you can become the best version of yourself for the future. I was on a path of self-destruction because I felt betrayed, hurt, and broken but on this journey, I learnt that I’ve also betrayed, hurt, and broken other people. I cannot take away the pain that I have caused but I can make sure that I make better choices. I am proud of who I am today because I am finally free from the chains that had me bound since I was 17. I started therapy feeling scared, skeptical, lost and a little bit overwhelmed because I was afraid to be vulnerable. You made me feel relaxed and welcomed from the get-go and that allowed me to be so open and honest, I didn’t feel afraid anymore. A year ago, I didn’t know whos… I felt that everyone had their own opinions and perceptions about me, and that created a discombobulated identity for me. You told me that I did all the work to get to where I am now, but I could have never progressed to this point without you there to guide me and challenge my thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful and thankful to you, because although you may feel as if I had the power and strength within me this entire time to get to this point, it took you to ignite that fire and drive for me to realize the person that I wanted to be. I wish you well and I hope that one day when I become a play therapist, I’ll be able to change somebody’s life, just like how you changed mine. I will never forget you. Thank you for giving me back my wings, I’m ready to fly." For me this testimony is worth more that gold. It's concrete proof of how counselling, empathy and commitment to change can lead to wonderful healing and restoration. If you have an issue that you may want to explore through counselling please contact me.
Yes, yes and yes again, I am guilt and so are you….. Its hard to admit to yourself and even harder to speak it out, but yes, we are all guilty of discrimination in some form or other at sometime or other in our lives. We may not recognize it as discrimination, we may be able to justify it to ourselves, or try and explain it away as something else, but discrimination has at some point been a part of our thought life and actions. Let me start by giving a definition for the word discrimination: Discrimination which can also be known as, intolerance, bias, prejudice or bigotry, is the act of making unjustified distinctions between people based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are perceived to belong. People may be discriminated on the basis of race, gender, age, religion, sexual orientation, disability, ethnicity, and most recently their vaccination status - as well as many other categories. It was not part of God’s perfect plan for human beings to ‘suffer’ from the sin of discrimination, this is very clear from Genesis Chapter 1:31 where on the sixth day after God had created mankind, both male and female in His own image – He pronounced that everything was GOOD. Not substandard or defective in some hidden way. So where did discrimination come into the picture? It took only a further 2 chapters of Genesis to reveal this heinous trait which was put into the mind of Eve by the arch enemy of our Creator. In Genesis 3:5 the snake says - “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” An immediate suggested unjustified distinction between herself and God – that somehow she was ‘lesser’ or not ‘like’ God and therefore Eve bought into the idea that they, her and Adam, had to take some action to improve their status. The action was that of the ‘devaluation’ of God’s word by rebelling against the authority of God, which ultimately led to their downfall and the fall of mankind and spiritual separation from God. Mankind unfortunately has not learned its lesson from this fatal act, and has throughout history believed that the only way to status up, is to put someone else or their ideas or ideology down. Thinking of yourself more highly than others is not only a form of pride but discrimination. Whether it is only internalized or expressed verbally making an unjustified distinction between yourself, your group, your tribe or your nation against another person, their group, their tribe or their nation is discrimination. We have not all be fortunate enough to have been born and raised in countries where not only education, health services or opportunities for advancement in technology is relatively freely available, and it can be easy not to identify with or discriminate against those who have not had these benefits or do not share our values or beliefs in life – and deem these people or groups to be lesser than ourselves. Being a Christian or a religious person does not automatically exempt you from discrimination as I have found out… We need to carefully consider the direction of our thought patterns and be hasty to repent and bring them into righteous alignment. I was recently the ‘object’ of a vicious attack of discrimination over my free will choice not to participate in the current global vaccination trial program. It was not only hurtful, but a total unwarranted violation of my God given free will choice. Liberty to choose what is best for your own health is now becoming a vehicle for discrimination. What however angers me more is the fact that what is welcomed and condoned by society is a woman’s free will choice over her body to murder her unborn child……no discrimination attached????? “Do not conform to the pattern of this ‘world’, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) We need to accept that God has given to each human being free will choice, which even He will not violate. Discrimination is a very subtle, vile and devious way of trying to get people, people groups and nations to conform to your way of thinking, by elevating your ideas and values and devaluing theirs, and in the process devaluing them as people. There is no place in our world for discrimination of any kind if there is to be peace among all people and nations. How we achieve this is by first searching our own hearts to reveal where we have elevated our own thoughts and ideas and devalued others – sincerely repent of these thoughts or words spoken and begin valuing people irrespective of their opposite ideology or way of life. Now, having said all of the above, there is in my opinion one exception which bears mentioning and that is this : Where there is in YOUR particular group, an I make particular reference to your faith group, a radical deviation from the truth held by community of believers, or a total contradiction or violation of the Word of Truth, there is room for not valuing the ideology which may split the group, and there is a place for intolerance of the violation of the common beliefs of the group. This is entirely a different matter to be dealt with within the group itself and not to be interfered with by those outside of the group. It’s when different groups pit themselves against the ideology or beliefs of other groups that discrimination sets in, and people are devalued. “Have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:4) Let us not be judges with evil thoughts.
Let me set the scene… a woman is in labour and finally gives birth, amidst all the pain she has endured thus far, the only thing she is listening for, straining her ears to hear above the noise of the medical staff around her, is the very first cry of her baby. Upon hearing that very first cry, she can now lay back exhausted and relax, resting assured that the baby is alive and breathing. How exciting, how reassuring to hear the unique voice of her child. This child has been hearing it’s mother’s and father’s voice in the womb for the last nine months and now finally, the parents are hearing the voice of their child. How very profound…. Have you ever pondered why humans have voices? Have you ever wondered why each person’s voice is so unique, so distinctive? Have you ever pondered why voices can evoke memories? Memories that can terrify, or memories that flood our hearts with happiness or joy. Our brain stores the memory of the sound of the voices of the people we know and have encountered in our lives. I can remember the sound of the voice of my mother and father who are no longer with us – the memory of the sound of our voice can never be extinguished, never be erased – it may remain dormant, but it does not die. We can identify a person by the sound of their voice, even if they are not physically in our presence. So powerful is your voice when it is heard. Your voice was created to give sound to words… Thoughts that are never vocalized remain as thoughts, but thoughts that are spoken are powerful to create and form the things that the thoughts contain. A clue to this truth comes in the very first lines of Genesis. This is the first time we are told in the Bible that God speaks. He uses his voice – ‘And God said’… ‘And God said’. God continues to speak throughout Genesis and into the New Testament where His word becomes flesh and dwells among us. We take for granted that we have a voice until perhaps one day we lose it. There are those who so value their voices that they have even insured their vocal chords as instruments of their profession – they make a substantial living out of the what their voices produce e.g. singers like Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Rod Stewart. I however, am concerned that in today’s day and age our voices are not longer heard as often as they should be. I am concerned that we are not using our voices to create and form the things that are of utmost importance to us. Our voices have been reduced to words on a page…. Through instruments like social media, Facebook, Twitter, and other such platforms – no one hears us speak audibly. They see our thoughts on a screen but don’t hear the emotion with which the words are conveyed. They see our words but don’t hear the nuances and tones of our voices. They don’t experience the sounds that are emanating from our hearts. Why have we been silenced? Is this intentional or is this the price of progress – I don’t have the answer – all I know is the fruit of it all is, ‘our voices are no longer being heard’! People no longer speak – they message, they text, they whatsapp thinking this is communication. They think they can resolve conflicts, convey messages of hope, comfort or instruction without audible verbal communication – they are disillusioned – once that text is read, and the app is closed – what they have written is often forgotten, often discarded or deleted. It is however hard to forget the anguish of pain in a voice, or the shriek of excitement from a child, or a genuine word of compassion or empathy from a friend. Your voice is important to be heard. Your thoughts are worthy to be spoken out. I am a counsellor in talking therapies and confirm over and over the value and importance of someone actually talking about their pain, their past, their failures, their ambitions, their desires and beliefs. It is not only a privilege to hear their voices but also to be heard when I respond. There is another who longs to hear your voice and longs for you to hear His voice as well Psalm 116:1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Where can you hear a real voice, or make your voice be heard today?
It has not always been easy for me to put into words what my passions are. I know that one is Worship, and another is delving into the Word of God. By that I mean, researching, looking up meanings of words and finding where else they come up in scripture. All this to say: Has the Lord given you a Personal Word for 2021? If not yet, I urge you to seek it out from Him as it will give you direction, strength and guide you though the unknown to come. At the beginning of 2020, the personal word that the Lord gave me was “I will be your sun and your shield” from Psalm 84:11. Little did I know at the time how sustaining that word would be. Even now in hindsight I am amazed at its significance and true meaning, as I apply it to the circumstances and situations that I have had to face in 2020. The sun brings light, warmth, comfort and facilitates growth to everything on the earth. There were some tough decisions and choices the Lord put before me to make very early in January 2020, which sometimes made me feel as if I would be stumbling around in the dark, if I went through with them. Without the personal word which day by day brought light and illumination to my path, as events unfolded, and perspective became much clearer, I realized that I could easily have missed God’s will for me for 2020. Even when I forgot the word, God did not forget His promise to me in 2020. The most challenging time came in August when my elderly mother fell extremely ill and died in South Africa, and I was not able, due to COVID-19 restrictions, travel to be with her in her final hours. Once again, the personal word came into action as God provided comfort, warmth, and light into the very depth of my being, removing every shadow of disappointment, disillusionment, and powerlessness over the situation I found myself in. Do not however be mistaken to think that the process took a day or a week or even a month, but by allowing the pouring of His light, comfort, and warmth to wash over my spirit daily, it eased the pain and pushed back the darkness of grief. During 2020 the Lord has been my shield in some amazing ways. A shield protects and guards a warrior’s vulnerable heart and internal organs. A shield, however, must be held up by the person who wants to be protected. The Lord cautioned me and showed me when to hold up the shield and when to lower it. I came under a vicious spiritual attack fairly early in the year and the Lord immediately said – ‘hold up the shield – I will take the blows’. He protected my heart from becoming battered and bitter and I have walked away stronger, wiser, and grateful for His covering. I have intentionally embarked on a path of spiritual growth and awakening to what the Lord is doing supernaturally in my life and on the earth today. During the pandemic, the word shielding has become a regular part of everyday vocabulary. I have not had to shield or quarantine during any of the lock-downs as the Lord has been my shield. I believe that there have been numerous times I could have been exposed to the virus, but the ‘shield’ has been up, and the Lord has protected me as He said he would – and I continue to trust in His unfailing word. I personally believe that 2021 is going to be just as, if not more challenging than 2020 and I have sought the Lord for a personal word for this year as I know without a doubt that I am going to need it not only to survive but to thrive. I am encouraged by this word and will share some of it with you. The word is from Habakkuk 3:19 – “He will make me to walk upon mine high places”. High places are places of worship, battlefields, authority and government, places of land possession, victory, and dominion. I know that high places need to be conquered and are not easily accessible. In the natural world climbing to high places can be risky, takes training, effort, and sometimes specialized equipment. As the spiritual parallels the natural, the same will be necessary which can be daunting, but I am trusting that the Lord will be there not only to defend but fight on my behalf. I am entering 2021 with optimism not for a vaccine or an end to the virus, but to witness the mighty hand of God as He shakes the nations and brings heaven to earth as only He can. We need more than a vaccine, we need to return to Holiness, Righteousness and Truth which is only found in Jesus – and saints, this starts with us – the church of the only true and living God. I hope that this encourages you to also seek the Lord for a personal word for 2021. May your year be filled with extraordinary promises from the Lord for you to enjoy and grow into.
Over the past few weeks, I have had the privilege of being part of conversations where people have been feeling utterly powerless over the situations they find themselves in. The privilege for me lies in the fact that God is giving me an opportunity to reflect on my own attitude and feelings about being powerless in the face of hardships or situations I have no control over. Where does powerlessness take me? – to despair? – to frustration? – to worry? - to confusion? – anger or even hatred, or does powerlessness increase my pursuit of God’s plan, purpose and lessons for my life. Powerlessness is an emotion that can have the audacity to question your faith in your own ability or influence, in the social system, in the government and even in God if not recognized for what it is, or what it can do. The Counselling Directory describes Powerlessness as being ‘an overwhelming feeling of helplessness or inadequacy in stressful situations – making us more susceptible to anxiety, stress and depression . This may include an inability to exercise our freewill when it comes to expressing opinions, making decisions, or asserting our personal choices. We might feel we have no influence over others, who seem to disregard our freedom and independence. Or we might fear confrontation with authority figures – because we fail to assert our boundaries and communicate our needs. Slowly this eats away out our self-confidence and weakens our resilience and ability to solve our own problems. For example, we might feel unable to stand up for ourselves in an argument, voice our concerns in a staff meeting at work or protect our interests with family members for fear of being seen as selfish. We may even seek to please others in an effort to win their approval and favor, while secretly resenting their power over us’. Does any of the above feel familiar, or resound with you – if so, you may have been experiencing powerlessness. Powerlessness, has the ability to bring out the worst and the best in us. Powerlessness can compel us to do things to try and make things ‘right’ but could have disastrous consequences in the long run. One of the most recent glaring examples of powerlessness has been the global Covid 19 Pandemic where millions of people the world over have virtually overnight been stripped of personal freedoms and privileges that have by and large been taken for granted, and considered as normal before the pandemic. In many respects we have been left powerless over the decisions taken by governments and authorities over many aspects of our personal lives, businesses, and even spiritual gatherings – we have been dis-empowered with no apparent influence to fight back…. In one conversation that I was privy to, the person displayed visceral anger towards authorities who had restricted certain social and educational face to face interactions. In fact, they went as far as to say that they ‘hate’ people who are scared and in fear who were causing the impinging of their rights through dis-empowerment. It got me thinking about dis-empowerment and powerlessness and more importantly, what is a Godly response to this seemly destructive emotion. These are some of the thought and questions that immediately came to mind which you may also like to ponder on. • ‘Who exactly is in charge of my life?’ If I have truly surrendered my life to Christ – surely then, He is in charge and He is certainly NOT POWERLESS over any situation that I find myself in. Can I surrender my powerlessness to Him and still feel whole and empowered? • Is the powerlessness that I am experiencing a result of me wanting and needing to be IN CONTROL of every situation in my life? If so, where does that leave room for God to work miracles and lead and direct my path – do I always want everything to be my way? Can I relinquish control of every aspect of my life to Him and still be at peace? • Am I operating in FEAR or in FAITH? – Am I allowing what I see with my eyes, hear with ears to dictate what God’s outcome for my life will be? Can I be content without knowing what God’s next step for me will be? • How much to I really TRUST GOD? – Whose power am I really trusting in, His or mine? Can I trust in a God who I cannot see to do what I don’t know how to do? • Is it okay for me to feel weak and powerless so that He can show Himself strong and powerful on my behalf? Am I ready to accept whatever He allows into my life, knowing that it has been filtered by Him? • Can I have empathy for those who feel as dis-empowered as I do – or do I blame them for my plight? Can I share my faith with those who are weak, when I am also weak? Powerlessness comes down to not being IN CONTROL of every situation in your life, and lets face it there will be hundreds of circumstances brought upon by yourself and by others that you simply are not able to be in CONTROL of. In the Garden of Eden, God originally gave Human Beings authority and dominion / control or ruler-ship over the earth and the creatures on the earth, but they were not given dominion over other human beings – ultimately God, our creator has dominion over us. During the fall of man which was also the transfer of authority and dominion to Satan, man gave control of himself over to the enemy of our souls. Ever since then, fallen Humans Beings have been trying to get back the control of their lives. One of the reasons Jesus came and conquered Satan was to take back dominion and control from him. God has no control over lives that are not explicitly surrendered to Him through salvation in Jesus Christ. Even once we have, of our own freewill received this salvation, we need to be surrendering control over to Him daily, or moment by moment. We overcome powerlessness by relinquishing our carnal control power over to His Supernatural Power which will in turn empower us to live and have our being in His Mighty Power POWERLESSNESS IS A SIGN OF BEING DISCONNECTED FROM OUR TRUE SOURCE OF POWER. Acts 17:28 “For in him we live and move and have our being.”